Jonesing for Smileys
Most days I am constantly reminded that, no matter how much I parent, Lucas is and always will be Eric’s son. And this means, that unlike me, who refused to be enslaved to any system other than my own sufficiently shackling internal code even as a young child –that Lucas will always be easily motivated, manipulated by and intent on manipulating the old Skinnerian system of positive reinforcement. Hence when Eric introduced the responsibility chart – we should have known what to expect.
The responsibility chart’s goal is to give children a visual reminder of specific behavioral trends that are encouraged and to allow the child to see his/her progress on achieving these desired behaviors – in theory.
In practice, it has turned out the 4-year old version of a heroin fix.
On our responsibility chart, smiley faces mysteriously appear seemingly out of nowhere and more difficult tasks are conveniently replaced by tasks more to the palate of the youngest member of the household. Every conversation has become prefaced with: “Do I get a smiley face for this?” Plants must now be watered three times a day and clean dishes are periodically collected and dumped in the sink.
Congratulations Lucas you have magnificently embodied the term “creative response”.
Now the responsibility chart looms over the household like the Eye of Sauron, watching everything, a part of every move made, irrevocably altering the behavioral dynamics of the family unit and I rue the day those cute, brightly colored smiley faces ever arranged themselves neatly on a 7 x 8.
At least I can take pride in the fact that someday my child will make an excellent lawyer.
Vignettes
The Play
The upcoming school play has a water theme. Apparently there are jellyfish involved.
Lucas: “I am going to be in the school play. There are tadpoles and a good jelly fish and an evil jellyfish. I want to be the evil jellyfish.”
“Why do you want to be the evil jellyfish.”
“Because you know I’m not good. You should ask your teacher at work if you can be an evil jellyfish too.”
The Cyclops
“Mom did you know that if I poked out your eye, you would only have one eye. And then you’d be a Cyclops.”
“That’s not very nice Lucas. If you poked out my eye it would hurt a lot and I would be sad.”
“But you’d get to be a Cyclops.”
Of course, silly me.
