I’ll just drink

Four year olds seem to exist for two reasons:

1. To remind us how stupid we’ve become. 

2.  To remind us how smart we’ve become.

As someone who has recently learned a little about programming, four year olds have minds that work in much the same way.  You write a general rule and then you cannot make exceptions to that rule without a ridiculously long string of ‘if/then’ statements detailing out every possible deviation from the rule you just made and how to handle it.

Four year olds are just starting to write the rules and have yet to build the caveats. 

For instance, you must wash your hands after you use the bathroom translates into “you must wash your hands every time you enter, walk by or look in the general direction of the bathroom.  Failure to do this will serve as proof that the rule was stupid in the first place and hence never needs to be followed again.

Rule  – Princesses wear long flowy dresses, hence everyone wearing a long flowy dress must be a princess.

On our way to dinner we pass a billboard of Jesus, surrounded in light - hair and robes flowing and Lucas cries “Momma, look at the princess! Isn’t she beautiful?”

Attempts to explain that men sometimes wear robes are met with confusion and a handful of looks displaying serious doubts as to my sanity.

Upon explaining to him that we were on the heart walk for our hearts:

“You don’t use your heart to walk! You use your legs.”

Statements of the Obvious

Four year olds are also prone to statements of the obvious. For instance:

“Tutu is nicer than Mommy.”

“Disney world is better than Texas.”

“Mommy your butt is squishy.”

“But I like candy!”

“Macaroni is not pasta.  If it was pasta we would call it pasta.”

“I didn’t do XXX, because I didn’t want to.”

And, upon receiving a meal he decided he did not want,

“Fine, I’ll just drink!”

Apparently, he picked up that blanket rule from his mother.

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